Drunken Chicken, Christmas Trees and Dave

I am sitting at my desk this morning trying to deal with the weight of what this day holds for me. April 20th. Just another typical Monday. Only this day holds for me a time when I feel my life was changed. It is difficult for me to believe that Garth and Zack have been gone for three years. And still, there is a part of me that simply does not believe it is true. The part of me that still, on occasion, will pick up the phone to call them or think about visiting. What is that part of my memory that doesn't remind me that they are gone?

So, like an idiot, I chose to get on facebook this morning. I then proceeded to look through pictures people had posted, read their status updates about remembering and then, the final straw, read Doug's blog entry (which you should read, but be prepared for). I am now sitting here, in an office with 6 other people, trying not to completely break down. So, how do I cope? How do I complete the rest of this day without being a shell of myself? Easy...remember the good times. Cover my sadness with sarcasm, just as Garth and Zack would have both wanted and expected.

The first memory that comes to mind was the time Garth wanted to make a group of us dinner. He had been to TGIFridays a few too many times, and he wanted to make chicken similar to their jack daniels chicken. So what did he do? He proceeded to soak a chicken all evening in whiskey. Not deluded, not for an hour....80 proof whiskey, on it's own, overnight. As you can imagine, this chicken could have become a drinking game all in itself, because eating just a bit of it would have made anyone completely drunk. Except maybe Garth. Who stubbornly tried very hard to eat some of it, until he finally gave in and said it was terrible.

Doug reminded me of the time we were all over at Fritz's old house. It was February or March, and the Christmas tree that Doug, Zack, Lee and Nathan had put up was still in the middle of the living room. It was supposed to be Nathan's job to take it down and the rest of his roommates were becoming more and more discontent with it's presence in their house. So, after some complaining and a bit of alcohol, I convinced Garth, Zack and Lee to carry it into Nathan's room, and plug in the lights. Which was hysterical until Nathan got home. Thinking about that huge Christmas tree in the middle of Nathan's teeny tiny room STILL brings a huge smile to my face. Garth and Zack took all the heat from Nathan and never pulled me into, even though it was my idea in the first place. So Nathan, if you're reading this, I apologize for the frustration but I don't regret the memory.

And finally, perhaps one of my favorite memories, was on my 21st birthday. Dave Matthews Band was in town and Garth, Zack, Kevin and Doug decided to take me to the concert. We had terrible lawn seats, but I remember it was a gorgeous evening with perfect weather. There are several parts of this evening that stand out to me. One was watching Zack's face as he experienced Dave Matthews for the first time. He hadn't really heard this music before the concert and had really come more for the company. I just remember him laying back, relaxed on the lawn and smiling at the new music. His love for music of all kinds was one of the most endearing things about him. Then there was Garth. Garth was up, dancing around, moving to the music, jumping during certain songs and yelling for them to play the favorites. He also had no shame in buying me drinks all night and spending $22 on a t-shirt so I would be able to remember the evening. It was the perfect birthday.

The following night, Dave Matthews was performing a second concert. Around 4pm that day, Garth called and asked what I was doing that night. I was working, but was getting done around 6pm. He suggested that we drive over to the concert and see if we could buy some tickets. I thought he was crazy because we had just gone the night before, but he reminded me that they never played the same set twice and that I hadn't heard some of my favorite songs. "If we go tonight, you might hear some of the stuff you missed last night. Hell, I'll even pay for your ticket." So on we went. The second night rivaled the first as far as the music went, plus we got much better seats for half the price. The whole night payed off when they started playing "Ants Marching," which is by far my favorite Dave Matthew's song. Garth and I cheered, danced and jumped up and down to the beat. It was great. That was the thing about Garth...he was always convincing me to do these great and unexpected things, because that's how he lived his life.

I miss them both very much. But I am grateful for the time we spent together and the hundreds of memories I will have forever.

Visiting D.C.

No. We don't have the list yet. Let's just get that out of the way.

So, what else has been going on? Actually, quite a bit. Kevin has been in D.C. since Sunday, March 15th for a training with the Air Force. Since they put him up in a nice hotel, I decided to join him for a little vacation. After working a little extra for the past three weeks, I built up some time off and have been here since last Thursday. It has been really nice to be able to relax. Not worrying about work, getting the house ready for sale, the list...ok, well maybe I've still been thinking about the list, but thats normal, right?

While we've been here Kevin has been in training during the days but had this past weekend free. During his time off we took a tour of the Kennedy Center, which neither of us had ever done. This building is incredible. It has five theatres in one building and beautiful sculptures, artwork, marble and chandeliers throughout. What I didn't know is that JFK was working on this building when he was assasinated, and after he died, leaders from all over the world sent gifts in memory of JFK to the Kennedy Center. This has created not only a wonderful performing facility but also some wonderful history.

This is one of the lobbies with entrance to three of the five theatres. Each of the chandeliers is made of crystal and was donated from a different country (Sweden I think?). It really is a magnificient building.

For each of the theatres there is a box for the President. It is in the center of the theatre and has a lobby area and then seats in the theatre. Apparently when the President is not using the box, other employees at the White House try to get access to this special feature. Can you imagine going to the opera and the President is sitting on your left or right? I can't.

Possibly my favorite part of the tour was the Israel Room. This is a donor lobby on the second floor, but everything in it was donated by Israel. On the wall is inscribed Psalm 150 and on the ceiling is a mural with different scenes from the Bible where music was important.

I just thought that is was interesting that there wasan entire room devoted to Israel and that it focused on the presence of music in the Bible. I thought it was great. The picture of the mural is the part that showed David playing his harp. The entire mural

was really beautiful.

The final picture from the Kennedy Center tour is from the opera house. There were these beautiful chandeliers that looked like fireworks exploding. As I was standing in the

opera house I couldn't help think about Marci and hoping that maybe one day I would get to see her perform there. Here is a picture of the beautiful chandelier.

After the tour, Kevin and I met up with Mimi, Derek and Andrew for lunch. Mimi and Andrew went to Wright State with Kevin and are interning at Andrew's Air Force Base in D.C. Then on Sunday we went to the museum of American History. It was a beautiful day, so we spent some time just sitting on the National Mall watching people walk by and enjoying the sunshine.

I think the best part has been to just get away from real life for a little while. When you're on vacation you can't spend your evenings doing projects or your downtime cleaning the house. I think it has been really good for Kevin and I to get away and enjoy time just being together. Of course tomorrow is back to real life...oh well.

And no Doug, I did not protest while I was here in D.C. Just in case you were wondering....

List Watch: Day 326

Okay...so maybe it hasn't been that long. But it feels like it.

For those of you who are not aware (though if you've read any of my previous posts I can't see how you're behind), Kevin and I are waiting for a list of bases that will have psycologist positions available for placement next year. We had originally thought that we would see the list by the end of January, but as you can see, it is February 17th and here we sit.

It has become pratically impossible for me to concentrate on anything else. I have been wondering what locations will be available, if we'll get one of our top choices, if I'll be able to find a job there, etc. etc. etc.

Besides the craziness in my head, here's some other things that have been going on. I'm into my fifth month at HRTC and I am now truly feeling like I made the right decision. While everything is not perfect there, it is indeed less stressful. Driving in the direction of Dayton instead of Cincinnati has decreased my stress level 150%. But the atmosphere at work makes a difference too. While I am very grateful for the time I spent at Playhouse because I learned so much, I feel like at HRTC that I am really able to take some ownership of the projects I'm working on. The executive director listens to my ideas and typically gives me the authority to carry them out, which is a great feeling.

The difficult thing is trying to raise money in this economic environment. Even though the economy was in worse shape in the 80's then it is now, Obama's constant "doom and gloom" talk is making everyone uneasy. Comparing our current economic situation to the Great Depression (which is a gigantic leap from the truth) makes businesses and individuals uneasy and is actually causing the economy to slow down more, not improve it. Therefore, people aren't as interested in giving to something considered a luxury, like the arts. I ask Kevin all the time why I didn't attempt a job in the for-profit world. Ah right....there's that whole passion about the arts thing. I just hope that wherever we move next I'll actually be able to find a job.

That is, if we ever get the list....

You say hello, but I say goodbye

Wow. It has been quite a while since I posted. Here are some things I'm thinking about as the New Year continues to tick on...

The Inauguration

As I'm sure everyone else does, I've got this weeks presidential inauguration on my mind. Tuesday will represent a historic day in the history of America. It is truly amazing that it has taken 43 previous presidents before an African-American was elected. As I have said before, I am proud that we live in a country that is taking steps towards being colorblind. While I think there are those that voted for Obama because he is black, I know many voted because he represents something they can believe in. It is interesting to be in my particular position - both proud and disappointed at the same time. I wish that our first African American President was someone I thought was good for the country. Someone who represented at least a couple of my ideals. However, that is not the way it is. Tuesday will be both a historical and sad day for me.

Bush leaving office

Of course, with a new president coming in, this of course means the previous one is leaving. Now, I know that I am in the minority, but I see George W. Bush as a great president. Did he make mistakes? Of course - he's human. However, I think the positive has far outweighed the negative. When he was elected he had no idea his presidency would be about terrorism and keeping this country safe. September 11th changed everything, and I think he did the best he could with the information he had at the time. I know, I know - there were no weapons of mass destruction. But at the time of invading Iraq it was believed that there were. I think he did what he thought was right, and for those of you who want to argue with me, Obama said the same thing this week. So argue with him.

Here is an article listing 10 things that Bush got right. I thought it was well written and celebrated a president that has be harshly criticized. I worry about a president that is more interested in popular opinion (and being compared to Lincoln before even taking office) and one who made choices he thought were right for America, no matter what the polls said.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/015/986rockt.asp?pg=1

And here is an opinion piece by Charles Krauthammer which I think is interesting. The candidate Obama bashed Bush, because he knew it would get him elected. I don't think anyone thought Obama would be agreeing with many of Bush's policies so quickly...except maybe Dick Cheney.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/15/AR2009011503149.html?hpid=opinionsbox1

Moving

This week I have been thinking constantly about what my and Kevin's future holds. Hopefully within the next four weeks we will get a list of available bases. I think this might be the hardest thing to wait for. Once we know what bases are available we will truly be able to start thinking about the future. What locations are a real possibility and what isn't.

I've also been thinking a lot about selling our house. With the basement very close to being finished, I have created a list of about 15 other things that need to be done before we put the house on the market. Some of them are small (painting the kitchen) while others are a little larger (power wash and stain the back porch). We are hoping to get a majority of the projects finished by mid-March and put the house on the market at that point. We have no idea what we will ask for our house, if anyone will be interested and how long it will take to sell. We won't actually be moving until the end of August, but we feel like the more lead time we can put on listing the house, the better off we'll be. Plan B is if we are unable to sell by August, Stefanie (Kevin's sister) will seriously consider moving in and renting from us. So at least we have a Plan B.

Vacation

I am truly itching to go on a vacation somewhere. There are several shows in NYC I would love to go see right now, but it is such an expensive place to go. I also would love to go somewhere warm, especially since this winter has been so cold. We don't really have any vacations in the works right now, but I'm hoping we can put something on the calendar so we have something to look forward to.

I think that's all for now. When the list of bases comes out, I will keep you updated. Hope you all are having a wonderful new year.